Have you ever talked yourself out of going after a dream or idea? Have you ever stayed in a bad relationship or toxic work environment? No matter how confident you are, there is this constant nagging voice that pulls you back every time you seek to make that BOLD move. It is the voice of “self doubt”.
You are busy going about walking along a prescribed, tailored path and the minute you decide to take a leap of faith into territories unknown is when it dawns on you that you have sub-consciously imbibed the notion that you are not good enough so you become anxious & feel unprepared & unworthy. The project of self belief continues.
I say “self-doubt” very guardedly. How did we get to the place of believing that we can’t – that we are incapable? We learned it, somehow, and the older we get, the more profound this inhibiting voice in our head gets. It is not loud and obvious. It is that other still, small voice from “yesteryears” that keeps reverberating in our minds. Every negative word and opinion that you have heard from childhood to the point of where you are at that you thought no longer had a hold on you, lingers. Every experience of rejection and abandonment etches itself in your memory and borders you within the confines of “safety” and comfort. You, over the years, lose that sense of exploration and invincibility you had in the innocence of childhood.
It is amazing how deep the negative words of others set in. The voice of self-doubt does not really belong to you. Like the biblical Goliath, that voice seems colossal and unbeatable. But do not discount the small pebbles of self-talk and self-love. Beating this Goliath within is not a single battle. It is not a place that you eventually arrive at – that you conquer once and for all and move through the world confident and empowered. It involves waking up daily and speaking words over yourself that run counter to everything negative you have come to feel and believe about yourself. It is failing and getting up and learning confidence in yourself by getting over each hurdle at a time. It is allowing community to affirm you and seeking help to walk through until you can walk on your own. We learn to reject those inner voices that tell us we cannot only by practicing daily to master them. It takes discipline. It takes will. Some days will be better than others. Celebrate the smalls wins. They will help to boost your confidence.
Self belief is a project of extreme courage, fortitude and FIGHT. Fight on. Fight on.